I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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