I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
