Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just cut my nipple shaving
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
