Pappa wants mamma naked
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
