i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
