maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
