Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize