why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
