so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
