Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize