Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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