Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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