nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
