I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
