You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
