based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
