New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize