too bad you live with your parents still
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
