Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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