But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
