so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Randomize
