i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
