he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
