I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
