She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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