If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
