They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
