Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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