He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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