I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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