We need to rekindle our bromance
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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