just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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