I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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