Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm both gender and math confused
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize