Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
