I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
