Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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