I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
