I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
