My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
