I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
