First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
