Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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