Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
