I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
