May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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