So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
