eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I came so hard my ears popped.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
