Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
