Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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