week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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