please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
