bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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