I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
