In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize