is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
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