Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
