How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
