pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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