What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
