Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
