So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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